May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
