I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
