Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
