i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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