lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
