We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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