it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
