On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
