he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
