My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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