You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
