This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
