I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
