Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
