he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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