i used baking grease as lip gloss
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
