New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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