We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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