they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
