Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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