OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ketchup is God's man juice
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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