So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
