The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize