David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
love makes seman taste better
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
