Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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