Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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