and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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