Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just high enough for therapy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
