remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
