The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
