Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
