So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
