she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
