I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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