Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
