We won't sleep together?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
