Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
