Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
