the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
