okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
