I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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