Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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