If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
