I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
