According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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