Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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