I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
