hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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