We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
