Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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