I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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