I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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