Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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