just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
two words: eviction party
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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