Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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