you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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