Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize