Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
