I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
