peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
