I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
