i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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