I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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