He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Fuck appropriateness.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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