yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
