i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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