i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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