Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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