I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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