oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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