Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize